intensional:

when there’s a fire, don’t forget to stop, drop and pop it, lock it, polka dot it, country-fy it and hip-hop it

(via allmyfearsinabox)


halcyonstarfish:

Such graceful creatures.

cumaddict72:

chekhov:

So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like $2) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake twitter of a hot girl and added a bunch of tweets over the course of a month to make it look legit and then I requested to follow him and he let me and he is the most goddamn boring person in the world

you need to be arrested

(via allmyfearsinabox)

dendropsyche:

Oh, wait, you said ”SEND NUDES”? I thought you said “SEND NUKES” hahaha whoops uh i guess you should evacuate your city or something

(via allmyfearsinabox)



johnentwlstle:

msg me if u want hints

theanti90smovement:

as you can see by the amount of bumper stickers on my car i am PISSED off at the government

(via allmyfearsinabox)


cuddlepunch:

This just in: he’s figured out where the laser comes from.


maddehhey:

oprahsmom:

toocooltobehipster:

how is he posting this from 4 months in the future

this was taken in February

americans

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

(via allmyfearsinabox)